China Moves Up In the World: Gets Lake Monster

Posted by Ming the Merciless as Guest Author, Ming the Merciless

In a controversial decision, the deteriorating post-imperial United Kingdom decided to raise some quick cash, which they desperately need after clinging to the coattails of the colonial lunatic and landing smack in the middle of the Iraq fiasco. Rather than continue following in the footsteps of everyone’s favorite former colony in the Americas (no, not Canada!) where they simply sell their country outright, instead those wily British have offloaded that national treasure, the Loch Ness Monster, to the Chinese.

The Chinese have provided this video of “The Lake Monster Formerly Known as Nessie” enjoying his new habitat of Lake Kanasi.

No word yet on whether they will chop him up and sell his bits as fertility supplements and aphrodisiacs. Keep an eye on your spam-box for updates.